The Whatsapp Drama

Compliments of the Season, just for laughs, here’s a joke that a lady in Nigeria sent to me on Whatsapp. It’s so ridiculous that it almost made me to become a Misogynist. Enjoy it.

ATTENTION!!!

Please, somebody is trying to cause false alarm and despondency by spreading a very dangerous rumor about me. I have it on good authority that someone is telling people that I have stopped accepting Christmas gifts. I therefore would like to categorically state that at no point did I ever attempt to stop accepting, contemplated the idea, let alone even dreamt about it. Those are lies fabricated by my enemies who want to tarnish my good reputation and prevent my friends like you from buying me gifts this festive season.

After all said, I would like you to note the following so that you can be duly guided when choosing my gift.

If you’re giving me hamper: I don’t want Bournvita coz it makes me sleep a lot. I prefer Milo [Baba Sala] because I need a lot of energy.

Three Crowns Milk nauseates me, I prefer Peak Evaporated Milk [Holland], it works well for my body. I don’t want Milo and just any brand of Sardine o! Titus Sardine [original brand] is okay.

Granulated Sugar purges me too, St. Louis Sugar is better. Please, don’t buy Nasco Cornflakes, I prefer Kelloggs.

Again, dont buy Beta Malt o! Malta Guiness Malt is better because it’s good for my skin.

Others include but not limited to Mango, Pineapple and Cranberry juice.

If you’re giving me food items: I love fresh fruits! [Kiwi, Raspberry, Strawberry, Olive, Grape, Mango, Pear, Plum, etc]. I don’t want Agbalumo o!  Five crates of newly laid Eggs, at least five live Chicken or Turkey will do. The frozen one causes cancer so I’m being careful. Kings Vegetable Oil, and a bag of Basmatti Rice are acceptable. Please, don’t bother yourself to make Ogi [pap] for me. Hollandia Custard [five bags] ma wapa fun mi [will be perfect for me]!

Thank you so much! May God continue to bless you as you honour this little request from me, your one and only friend.

With one love, I wish you the merry Christmas and prosperous new year in advance!

Remember to add Swiss Lace or French Lace 10 yards for my Aso Odun oh [Christmas and New Year outfits]!

WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS SHE PONDERING?

Source: http://dareyoyeledun.tumblr.com/post/136254667718/the-whatsapp-drama-compliments-of-the-season